The Egg Drop Post

Don’t you just love A. Ged.de?
How cute is this photo?

I can only hope that this is what is going on inside of me right now. I am feeling the ovulation pain. No pain, no gain, right?

Two more weeks to go. Ugh!

So I have been officially slimmed. Today Dr. Feelgood injected me with about 17.5 million spermies. How exciting! And it turms out that I have about 4 or 5 eggs in play but, of course, you never know what may happen. Tomorrow I go back for another round.

What is weird about going to the RE these days is that everyone there knows my name now. I feel a bit like a celebrity and it is bittersweet. It’s sweet to feel like people are routing for me. They really cheer me on and know my story and there is something comforting to that. But I am a wee bit bitter about my 1.5 year long worth of visits to the RE’s office. I long for the day when I graduate back to my OB-GYN where I am blissfully anonymous. Until then, I guess, you can just call me ‘Norma’.

Goodbye, Menopur! Hello, Ovidrel!

I went in today for my ultrasound. It turns out that I have six mature egg follicles. I am happy to write that I am done with menopur for this cycle and, hopefully, forever.

Tonight I am doing a trigger shot and my IUIs will be tomorrow (Thursday) and Friday am.

I am feeling cautiously optimistic.

Yesterday, I went to the doctor for what I thought would be a routine sonogram and confirmation. I was expecting my doctor, Dr. Feelgood, to confirm what he had already told me on Saturday—that I everything was fine and that I would have my IUIs on Wednesday and Thursday.

When I arrived there, things didn’t go according to my plan. Firstly, I discovered that my doctor, Dr. Feelgood was off and that I would have to contend with his partner, Dr. No-Bedside-Manner, who will henceforth be referred as Dr. Killjoy. Needless to say, he is very cold and condescending as usual. When I am being examined by him I feel very vulnerable and I don’t feel as if I can ask question and when I do, it’s just not that helpful.

It turns out that I have too many maturing follicles for an IUI cycle. In fact, I have 10. Dr. Killjoy cut my dosage of Menopur in half and told me to come back on Wednesday to see him since Dr. Feelgood would still be out. When I asked him when he thought I would be inseminated, he predicted Friday and Saturday, but emphasized the fact that he really couldn’t know for sure.

So we are now playing a game of wait and see. I do hope I will have my IUIs this week, but right now the risk of having multiples is a little scary.

I am trying to remain positive and embrace the fact that it’s a new year. A lot of wonderful things happened to me and all of you last year, so I am keeping the faith.

Tomorrow is another day….and the day that I will find out if and when I am going to have IUIs this cycle.

Okay, so the anxiety and nerves are setting in. They are slowly creeping into my everyday thinking. When I started the injectibles, I was pretty calm cool and collected about everything, some might even say, nonchalant.

The first injectible cycle, I was really diligent about the timing and really anal about mixing the vials. Now I can talk on the phone, fry bacon, and mix menopur all at the same time. I haven’t even experienced many, if any side effects since Nadia started shooting me up last week.

But now that it looks like I will have IUIs on Wednesday and Thursday of next week, I find myself thinking about the what ifs:

What if we have another tornado and I can’t hitch a ride to the drs?

What if the sperm count is really low and we can’t use it?

What if the timing is completely off and the sperm misses all of my eggs completely? Frozen sperm isn’t as potent as live sperm, you know.

From the looks of things, it seems as if I will have at least five eggs to gamble on, if not more. So the odds are decent but I am still slowly turning into a bag of nerves.

I go back on Monday to get wanded and firm up the dates of my insemination.

Happy New Year?

Auntie Flo is here. Let the games begin.

I am brainstorming new projects just to keep my mind off of my impending surgery. I think I might pick up needlepoint. It is something I used to do when I was young. I think it will remind me of my mom.

Or maybe I just miss needles after the injectible cycle?

Christmas did come early this year, but I did not get the gift I was hoping for. Unfortunately, I got my period; in fact, it came a few days early.

I have to admit that this intimate discovery reminds me so much of the first time I got my period the summer of my eleventh year. Upon seeing the blood, I felt, shock, confusion, and shame. I also remember a pervasive sadness– perhaps a mourning for innocence lost, mixed in with a fear of the unknown. Today the feelings are exactly the same.

Inevitably with me, the anger creeps in. More than anything else right now, I feel very angry. My donor had a 45million sperm count with 60% motility and now this.

WTF?!?

I am angry because I know that the next step, according to my RE, will be to discuss my options regarding fibroid surgery. I don’t want to have surgery! At the same time, there is a chance that the fibroid has an effect on my fertility. There is also the chance that I will get pregnant and have complications due to the fibroid.

Grrr!

I wish my reproductive functions were more in line with the fantasies my mother inflicted on me when I was still young, innocent, and naive: “be careful or you will get pregnant,” she said shortly after I got my first period.

What a joke!