When I was redesigning the site, it was really important to me that I have some kind of rainbow in my header. And it’s not because it has become a symbol of the LGBT community, but because it represents the power of possibility. Sort of, I guess, like baby dust.

Sending someone baby dust is such a phenomenon in the TTC Community but I never mention it here nor have I ever seen it mentioned in a positive light by any of the folks on my blogroll. But I do have to admit that I was quite touched when on of the commentors from International Comment Leaving Week send me some baby dust. It had never happened to me before.  And as I continue to the countdown to my fall IVF cycle (1 month and 3 days), maybe the mention of it is a good sign.

I do feel as if something magical in the air because I’ve witnessed the pregnancies of some of my blogopshere sistren who’ve been at if for a while: Vee and Jay and Calli. And I’m so happy for them. Additionally, Oneofhismoms, welcomed home her bouncing baby joy, Trucker, a few weeks ago and what a blessing that is.  So even though I wrote this really bitchy post about my sister -in-law who tripped and got pregnant a few weeks ago, I’m overjoyed for folks with whom I’ve laughed and cried with over this entire TTC nightmare.

So let’s hear if for baby dust, let’s hear if for magic and let’s hear it for all of us in the trenches. Maybe we will all find ourselves, somewhere over the rainbow, with our screaming newborns and lack of sleep someday soon.

Take a look: Paying the Price for My One and Only.

Thanks, Nina!

And a thousand kisses to those of you who write to inquire about how I am. This blog world means so much to me.

The break itself was helpful because it allowed me to stop writing about the TTC I think I felt pressure to write stuff, even if I really had nothing important to say. And then, of course, I started to stupidly believe that it would determine if I would be a good parent or not. Thank God I fell down the rabbit whole last week and was able to come to my senses.

Now just because I stopped writing doesn’t mean that my TTC obsession went away. It is quite the contrary. In the past few days, I have spent countless hours watching Birth Day on the Discovery Health Channel. It’s quite addictive. I highly recommend it if you are recovery from surgery.

In other news, Nadia and I have attended some adoptive parenting classes. As a break from the TTC, we are checking out various adoptive agencies in the city to see which ones are queer friendly. Any advice from who know would be helpful. She would like to adopt an older child (above 10 years of age) and I am undecided, quite frankly. We are not planning to adopt for at least a couple of years, so this is just an information gathering stage. Hopefully, it will lead to hours and hours of fruitful discussion.

Ah, the joys of marriage.

Next week I will have my second (very painful) saline sonogram to see if there I have any scarring on my uterus from the surgery.

And, I will, of course, keep you posted.

Last night we went to my bio mom group and it was fun. Most of the women were white with the exception of an African American lawyer who has a white partner and a white woman who has an Asian partner. It was really wild! Everyone was at different stages some were just starting out, others had already tried IVF-twice, one couple had just tried a home insemination and one woman was even pregnant. Ages ranged from 28 to 44. Everyone felt anxious and excited. And it was fun to hear about their experiences.

Here we go.