Comments on: An Awkward, Teachable Moment?

By: Sleepless

Sleepless — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 11:12:12 +0000

I guess it all depends if you feel they deserved more honesty or not. If you are not that invested in them and they are not invested in you, why should you gift them with very private, painful information. You did well.

By: oneofhismoms

oneofhismoms — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 01:51:11 +0000

I am uncouth and would have recited my entire blog to them.

By: Felicia

Felicia — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 01:04:52 +0000

It sounds as if you handled the situation very professionally. Much more so than their asking your age and reminding you of the proverbial ‘ticking clock’, I might add.

By: Melissa

Melissa — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 15:38:33 +0000

I would have done what you did too. Especially since they are clients there are just somethings that will never be any of their business to know.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 02:41:25 +0000

I end up telling people WAY TOO MUCH, just to shut them up, but this was a work situation, so I would have been out of line. However, I really like Nadia’s suggestion.

By: cindyhoo2

cindyhoo2 — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 01:53:31 +0000

I cannot say that I would have done anything differently based upon the situation; however, when I can say something I tend to say, “we have been trying for a long time and it hasn’t been going well.” I love to see people’s responses: they tell me a great deal about the kind of person I am dealing with and whether they ever get the whole story. By the way, don’t those “you don’t know how wonderful your life will be” comments stab you in the heart?! I always feel like some sort of infertility sensitivity advocate when I “come out” about my issues. I like to think that I can make people feel uncomfortable enough that they will never make such insensitive comments again. Small victories.

By: Kat

Kat — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 23:46:56 +0000

I think that you handled it well, under the circumstances. I think it’s tough to be confronted with these questions, especially since these women were married to men and you are in a same sex partnership. There are a lot of power dynamics floating around. Also, you were at a work related lunch so it could have gotten awkward if you had been too blunt or forthcoming, despite their rudeness. It’s unfortunate how many assumptions people make and they don’t even realize it. Well done.

By: liberationtheory

liberationtheory — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 15:42:28 +0000

Honestly, I tell them the truth b/c 1) it shuts them the hell up and 2) it gives them food for thought. Whenever I’m pressed about why I haven’t concieved, I’ll just say that I’ve been having difficulty trying. They usually realize what away how insensitive their assumptions are.

By: Duck

Duck — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 15:27:57 +0000

Whenever we get that question my husband tends to say that we are working on it, and thats it.
But, if they push, he tends to say soemthing like “we’re having fun trying” or exactly what Nadia suggested.

Me, I say “yeah someday” sorta like you did and leave it with that.

By: Lizzie

Lizzie — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 14:59:05 +0000

Oh, I would have played it exactly like you did, but then come away with private, bottled up pain. Wish I were gutsier. xo