Comments on: Innocent, Teachable Moments

By: Tracey

Tracey — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 21:04:29 +0000

Once again you say what I’ve been thinking much more eloquently than I could have. I love your new response. I, too, struggle with this question (and my answer). Fortunately some people with whom we have shared our adoption plan haven’t even asked why we are pursuing this route (my father-in-law being one of them, bless him!) while others have said “aren’t you frustrated by all these people getting pregnant while you can’t?”. Well, the end result is the same and hey, I get to drink while I wait!

By: Maru

Maru — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 20:04:56 +0000

It’s an innocent comment that comes from ignorance. You’ll get used to hearing it over and over. I say I’m not able to conceive but I’m very capable of having children of my own.

By: Join the Club! | The Egg Drop Post

Join the Club! | The Egg Drop Post — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 16:33:07 +0000

[...] as many of you know, I”ve even started a weekly Teachable Moments Column, precisely about times when I learn something about myself or other people or when I have the [...]

By: Felicia

Felicia — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 00:58:33 +0000

I too like your ‘new and improved’ response to the question about having children of your own.

I was actually asked the ‘do you have any kids of your own’ question (yuk) at a baby shower (double yuk) by a woman who overheard me talking about my son and was interested in adoption because she had been having a difficult time conceiving. I answered with ‘I’m not able to become pregnant’, partially because she had just shared her infertility and I wanted to make her feel less alone, and partially because I knew she innocently meant ‘biological’ when she said ‘own’. She was sharing vulnerable information and I didn’t want to make her feel bad by correcting her.

But I, like you, really felt bad about my response. It was incomplete and inaccurate and disrespectful to my son, who I am crazy in love with.

By: Sleepless

Sleepless — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 20:22:36 +0000

This is a very sensitive handling of this subject matter. It is sensitive to adopted children. It is sensitive to people who have little knowledge of adoption. And it is sensitive to countless people who have been unable to conceive and wonder if they would be good adoptive parents while they have a corner of their hearts that is broken. You are a gem of a writer.

By: Willow

Willow — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 20:42:10 +0000

When we first started thinking about adoption, I worried about whether an adopted baby would really feel like mine. But we adopted our darling baby boy eight months ago, and I promise you, when you hold that sweet baby in your arms, biology couldn’t matter less. He is miraculous and 100% the baby of our dreams. After 3 years of TTC, I finally have my answer to why we went through all of that–because if we hadn’t, we wouldn’t have found our way to him, and he was absolutely meant to be our son. Good luck in your adoption journey–may your baby find you soon!

By: thebao

thebao — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 21:17:05 +0000

Hey again,
Just found out that some friends of mine have decided to adopt, and I want to add some more adopting blogs to my reader. Any good ones you can recommend?

By: Next in Line

Next in Line — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 18:26:40 +0000

I love your Monday teachable moments. I am looking forward to them.

By: thebao

thebao — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 17:11:06 +0000

Smart on you to be prepped for next time–your response is really smart and thoughtful.

Little Wing, wherever he/she is, is one incredibly lucky kid to have you as its mamas.

By: Two Moms, Two Monkeys

Two Moms, Two Monkeys — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 05:11:58 +0000

I love that you have your response ready, and that you are making that safe haven for your soon to be little one. We didn’t adopt but when I mentioned that I was going to carry my wife’s egg, a good friend of mine at the time said that I would never love her baby the same as if it were “mine” isnt that crazy. She actually said that to me! She didn’t even think there was anything wrong with what she said. Some people have no clue. I carried anyway, and I love these boys more than anything in the world. Genetics only takes you so far, being a Mama about so much more than blood.