Comments on: Embracing Darkness http://www.mommieshere.com/2009/12/21/embracing-darkness/ Two Brides, One Adoption Story Wed, 18 Jan 2012 16:35:10 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Sonja http://www.mommieshere.com/2009/12/21/embracing-darkness/comment-page-1/#comment-2329 Sonja Mon, 18 Jan 2010 17:49:20 +0000 http://www.eggdroppost.com/?p=655#comment-2329 Very beautiful, well written post. Sonja ~Creme Very beautiful, well written post.

Sonja
~Creme

]]> By: Lut C. http://www.mommieshere.com/2009/12/21/embracing-darkness/comment-page-1/#comment-2324 Lut C. Mon, 18 Jan 2010 13:05:05 +0000 http://www.eggdroppost.com/?p=655#comment-2324 Popping in from the crème de la crème list. This is a very evocative post, I enjoyed reading it - though I don't enjoy the grief that's behind it, of course. I'm with Sarah, the previous commenter, on the 'divine plan' bit. But I try not to get into discussions about religion. Popping in from the crème de la crème list.

This is a very evocative post, I enjoyed reading it – though I don’t enjoy the grief that’s behind it, of course.

I’m with Sarah, the previous commenter, on the ‘divine plan’ bit. But I try not to get into discussions about religion.

]]> By: Sarah http://www.mommieshere.com/2009/12/21/embracing-darkness/comment-page-1/#comment-2259 Sarah Fri, 25 Dec 2009 04:52:11 +0000 http://www.eggdroppost.com/?p=655#comment-2259 I think that one of the things that has comforted me the most is to let go of the idea of a universal plan for me, or even a god, or a reason for my infertiliyt, and my hsuband's infertility. I love Greg Epstein's version of humanism where he says that being human is a messy, painful experience, and there is no reason for the bad things that happen, and all we can do is love and support one another as we bear our pain and mourn our losses. Somehow, for me, that is a relief. I am not bad. I did not 'bring this on myself', I can't reverse it, it IS. I thing that the darkness that is so hard to face is the abyss--if there is no reason, how can it be bourne? If there is no reason, there is no way to 'un-do' it. No can do attitude will touch this. When I think of Jesus, and if I were to call on Jesus, I would need to do it in the spirt of abiding love, not fate, not a plan. At 'his' best, Jesus walks with us as we bear our pain. As an atheist/humanist, I don't really call on Jesus, but if I did, that would be my sense of it. I think that one of the things that has comforted me the most is to let go of the idea of a universal plan for me, or even a god, or a reason for my infertiliyt, and my hsuband’s infertility. I love Greg Epstein’s version of humanism where he says that being human is a messy, painful experience, and there is no reason for the bad things that happen, and all we can do is love and support one another as we bear our pain and mourn our losses. Somehow, for me, that is a relief. I am not bad. I did not ‘bring this on myself’, I can’t reverse it, it IS. I thing that the darkness that is so hard to face is the abyss–if there is no reason, how can it be bourne? If there is no reason, there is no way to ‘un-do’ it. No can do attitude will touch this.

When I think of Jesus, and if I were to call on Jesus, I would need to do it in the spirt of abiding love, not fate, not a plan. At ‘his’ best, Jesus walks with us as we bear our pain. As an atheist/humanist, I don’t really call on Jesus, but if I did, that would be my sense of it.

]]> By: Eva http://www.mommieshere.com/2009/12/21/embracing-darkness/comment-page-1/#comment-2239 Eva Tue, 22 Dec 2009 12:09:31 +0000 http://www.eggdroppost.com/?p=655#comment-2239 "Remember that our heart is the organ that brings life". Thank you. I needed that. “Remember that our heart is the organ that brings life”. Thank you. I needed that.

]]> By: nycphoenix http://www.mommieshere.com/2009/12/21/embracing-darkness/comment-page-1/#comment-2238 nycphoenix Tue, 22 Dec 2009 04:08:43 +0000 http://www.eggdroppost.com/?p=655#comment-2238 I said this elsewhere but it fits here: You reminded me of the sermon two weeks ago about the themes of darkness and light during this season. My pastor talked about how we need to stop the train of thought that equates darkness with bad and lightness with good. but seeing the darkness as a necessity for without one there is no other, they are two sides of the same coin. How we must embrace the darkness as a way to renew our energies for what lies ahead. Looking at the holiday season from that angle we can create rituals of looking at the darkness as a time for reflection and recognizing what lies beneath. Where you think there is barrenness and death there is life. We can see our wombs as barren but remember that our hearts is the organ that brings life. I said this elsewhere but it fits here: You reminded me of the sermon two weeks ago about the themes of darkness and light during this season. My pastor talked about how we need to stop the train of thought that equates darkness with bad and lightness with good. but seeing the darkness as a necessity for without one there is no other, they are two sides of the same coin. How we must embrace the darkness as a way to renew our energies for what lies ahead.

Looking at the holiday season from that angle we can create rituals of looking at the darkness as a time for reflection and recognizing what lies beneath. Where you think there is barrenness and death there is life. We can see our wombs as barren but remember that our hearts is the organ that brings life.

]]> By: Fertility Foibles http://www.mommieshere.com/2009/12/21/embracing-darkness/comment-page-1/#comment-2237 Fertility Foibles Tue, 22 Dec 2009 00:20:53 +0000 http://www.eggdroppost.com/?p=655#comment-2237 wow. What a powerful and honest piece. I, too, was thrilled that today is the Winter Solstice for similar reasons - every day is a bit brighter. And, I hope that the same is true for you, too. Here's to brighter days. wow. What a powerful and honest piece. I, too, was thrilled that today is the Winter Solstice for similar reasons – every day is a bit brighter. And, I hope that the same is true for you, too. Here’s to brighter days.

]]> By: Next in Line http://www.mommieshere.com/2009/12/21/embracing-darkness/comment-page-1/#comment-2236 Next in Line Mon, 21 Dec 2009 19:52:56 +0000 http://www.eggdroppost.com/?p=655#comment-2236 Embrace it, swim in it and know that lighter are times just round the corner. I am lighting a candle for you. Embrace it, swim in it and know that lighter are times just round the corner. I am lighting a candle for you.

]]> By: Lo http://www.mommieshere.com/2009/12/21/embracing-darkness/comment-page-1/#comment-2235 Lo Mon, 21 Dec 2009 17:28:06 +0000 http://www.eggdroppost.com/?p=655#comment-2235 Beautiful post. Beautiful post.

]]> By: kim http://www.mommieshere.com/2009/12/21/embracing-darkness/comment-page-1/#comment-2234 kim Mon, 21 Dec 2009 15:53:19 +0000 http://www.eggdroppost.com/?p=655#comment-2234 Amazing post. This past week at a work event, I overheard someone talking about a recently married friend and new homeowner and how she was struggling to get pg, and how she had told her when the stress of buying the house was over and she could relax, she'd get pregnant. Right there in the middle of the room I wanted to SCREAM at her that it was the worst advice to give someone struggling to get pregnant. I wanted to run down the litany of things that can be the reason and that relaxation was not going to solve any of them. I absolutely loathe when people say that. When my wife and I were in the midst of IVF, someone said to me, "Maybe you just weren't meant to have children." You're right, it's hard to talk about, and I think sometimes we are so overburdened by the pain of trying and failing that who could expect us to even manage to try? I want to send your post to everyone I know - so they know that infertility isn't just "hey maybe we should 'just adopt'" but it's the evolution of a dream, from what you thought it would be to what is, and that the process to accepting that evolution is not something you get by flipping a switch. You are brave, and honest - and while your family may not be made the way you thought it would, it will be made. Much love as your darkness turns to light. Amazing post.

This past week at a work event, I overheard someone talking about a recently married friend and new homeowner and how she was struggling to get pg, and how she had told her when the stress of buying the house was over and she could relax, she’d get pregnant. Right there in the middle of the room I wanted to SCREAM at her that it was the worst advice to give someone struggling to get pregnant. I wanted to run down the litany of things that can be the reason and that relaxation was not going to solve any of them. I absolutely loathe when people say that. When my wife and I were in the midst of IVF, someone said to me, “Maybe you just weren’t meant to have children.”

You’re right, it’s hard to talk about, and I think sometimes we are so overburdened by the pain of trying and failing that who could expect us to even manage to try? I want to send your post to everyone I know – so they know that infertility isn’t just “hey maybe we should ‘just adopt’” but it’s the evolution of a dream, from what you thought it would be to what is, and that the process to accepting that evolution is not something you get by flipping a switch.

You are brave, and honest – and while your family may not be made the way you thought it would, it will be made. Much love as your darkness turns to light.

]]> By: calliope http://www.mommieshere.com/2009/12/21/embracing-darkness/comment-page-1/#comment-2233 calliope Mon, 21 Dec 2009 13:47:34 +0000 http://www.eggdroppost.com/?p=655#comment-2233 "I used the lightning bolts as a guide." -wow. this is such a powerful statement within such a beautiful post. xoxo “I used the lightning bolts as a guide.” -wow. this is such a powerful statement within such a beautiful post. xoxo

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