Comments on: Ambivalence http://www.eggdroppost.com/2009/11/30/ambivalence/ Remixing An Adoption Story Thu, 11 Mar 2010 04:17:50 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: deathstar http://www.eggdroppost.com/2009/11/30/ambivalence/comment-page-1/#comment-2221 deathstar Tue, 08 Dec 2009 04:42:21 +0000 http://www.eggdroppost.com/?p=600#comment-2221 It's okay to feel like crap. Perfectly normal and you'll probably have more days like that. It is what it is. Adoption and having your own kid are two completely different things no matter what anybody says. They are two different paths. It takes a lot to fully accept that. It’s okay to feel like crap. Perfectly normal and you’ll probably have more days like that. It is what it is. Adoption and having your own kid are two completely different things no matter what anybody says. They are two different paths. It takes a lot to fully accept that.

]]> By: luna http://www.eggdroppost.com/2009/11/30/ambivalence/comment-page-1/#comment-2220 luna Sun, 06 Dec 2009 08:17:25 +0000 http://www.eggdroppost.com/?p=600#comment-2220 I am new to your blog -- found you when you found me -- and just wanted to echo the comments above. adoption can be really overwhelming at first, and the uncertainty can make anyone wary, especially after the heartbreak of infertility. grieve your losses. btw, we used an agency for our home study but did our own outreach which worked really well for us. it made me feel like I could DO something. I am new to your blog — found you when you found me — and just wanted to echo the comments above. adoption can be really overwhelming at first, and the uncertainty can make anyone wary, especially after the heartbreak of infertility. grieve your losses.

btw, we used an agency for our home study but did our own outreach which worked really well for us. it made me feel like I could DO something.

]]> By: Co http://www.eggdroppost.com/2009/11/30/ambivalence/comment-page-1/#comment-2217 Co Thu, 03 Dec 2009 16:03:28 +0000 http://www.eggdroppost.com/?p=600#comment-2217 Makes sense to me. I think one can feel blessed and still feel like crap. You have a lot of wonderful things in your life and are pursuing becoming a parent with Nadia. That's great and indeed, you are blessed. But you are also grieving and suffering a loss and traveling a new path that is not easy and that was not your first choice. I am sorry. Hang in there. Makes sense to me. I think one can feel blessed and still feel like crap.

You have a lot of wonderful things in your life and are pursuing becoming a parent with Nadia. That’s great and indeed, you are blessed.

But you are also grieving and suffering a loss and traveling a new path that is not easy and that was not your first choice.

I am sorry. Hang in there.

]]> By: Sarah http://www.eggdroppost.com/2009/11/30/ambivalence/comment-page-1/#comment-2215 Sarah Tue, 01 Dec 2009 16:28:16 +0000 http://www.eggdroppost.com/?p=600#comment-2215 In an ideal world, you could take time to grieve your own losses, and then pursue adoption when you were really ready. But adoption takes time, and you need to get going, so it sort of cramming yoru grieving in with your moving on, and it's like being on a roller coaster going in two directions. ((((hugs)))) In an ideal world, you could take time to grieve your own losses, and then pursue adoption when you were really ready. But adoption takes time, and you need to get going, so it sort of cramming yoru grieving in with your moving on, and it’s like being on a roller coaster going in two directions.
((((hugs))))

]]> By: cindyhoo2 http://www.eggdroppost.com/2009/11/30/ambivalence/comment-page-1/#comment-2214 cindyhoo2 Tue, 01 Dec 2009 04:32:47 +0000 http://www.eggdroppost.com/?p=600#comment-2214 Yeah, what Nycphoenix said. But she is totally right. No matter how thankful we all are to have adoption as a way to build our families, that does not remove the hurt of not being able to get pregnant as easily as all the women who get pregnant accidentally. It is hard to give up a dream and begin another. Yeah, what Nycphoenix said. But she is totally right. No matter how thankful we all are to have adoption as a way to build our families, that does not remove the hurt of not being able to get pregnant as easily as all the women who get pregnant accidentally. It is hard to give up a dream and begin another.

]]> By: nycphoenix http://www.eggdroppost.com/2009/11/30/ambivalence/comment-page-1/#comment-2213 nycphoenix Tue, 01 Dec 2009 03:10:41 +0000 http://www.eggdroppost.com/?p=600#comment-2213 Because adoption is not a cure for infertility. Because adoption can't take away the mindfuck that your body couldn't get pregnant. Because adoption can't answer the curiousity of what it feels like to be pregnant Because no one dreams about filling out paperwork or creating an adoption profile and its hard to plan a baby shower with an adoption Mikey and I felt all this and we have other reasons (lack of money, no 2nd bedroom, age and health issues didn't make us attractive to birth mothers) we decided against adoption. Because adoption is not a cure for infertility.

Because adoption can’t take away the mindfuck that your body couldn’t get pregnant.

Because adoption can’t answer the curiousity of what it feels like to be pregnant

Because no one dreams about filling out paperwork or creating an adoption profile and its hard to plan a baby shower with an adoption

Mikey and I felt all this and we have other reasons (lack of money, no 2nd bedroom, age and health issues didn’t make us attractive to birth mothers) we decided against adoption.

]]> By: liberationtheory http://www.eggdroppost.com/2009/11/30/ambivalence/comment-page-1/#comment-2212 liberationtheory Tue, 01 Dec 2009 01:30:07 +0000 http://www.eggdroppost.com/?p=600#comment-2212 Because no matter how "well" things are going and all the reasons why people say you "should" be happy with this great opportunity, it can never replace the fact that you're still mourning (and rightfully so) the loss of the family that you hoped for, mourning the reality of infertility, mourning the "what ifs" and "maybes." Trust me, I completely get it. And am still there for the most part. So please don't feel the need to paint a happy face for us. We love you and understand all the same!! Because no matter how “well” things are going and all the reasons why people say you “should” be happy with this great opportunity, it can never replace the fact that you’re still mourning (and rightfully so) the loss of the family that you hoped for, mourning the reality of infertility, mourning the “what ifs” and “maybes.”

Trust me, I completely get it. And am still there for the most part. So please don’t feel the need to paint a happy face for us. We love you and understand all the same!!

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