Comments on: Cacophony

By: Next in Line

Next in Line — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 01:59:24 +0000

Your post and the truly beautiful coments that people have left for you brought tears to my eyes. This journey can be so unbelievably hard. Doing fertility treatments is a heroic journey and not for the faint of heart. No matter what you decide and what happens you have a whole team here for you.

By: A

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 20:53:09 +0000

My heart is breaking for you. I am so sorry. YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE! Please try and remember that. I know it’s hard. But like someone told me (just the other day) “You are not a failure. Your body failed you.” You are in my thoughts!

By: thebao

thebao — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 14:49:56 +0000

Ugh, the brain can be so annoying at three in the morning. Even though you know you’re making yourself crazy and that many of your thoughts of self-blame don’t hold up during the day, you can’t make yourself stop running that loop at night. Again. And again. I’m so sorry about your last cycle. Sending hopeful thoughts your way.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 09:56:34 +0000

I find the shame and embarrassment to be the most baffling and awful things to bear about IF. Why are we embarrassed? Why are we ashamed?
Such big questions, and so hard to answer.
I agree, you aren’t a failure, but I really really get that having these failed dreams in your life, and all the grief that clings to them is like walking around with 10 shopping carts full of junk when all you really can carry is a hand basket with a chocolate bar in it.
I hear you on ‘grandma Eva’s smile’. I so want a child to help me keep their memories alive. In my strongest, most future oriented moments I can remember that I can sing them the songs my grandmother sang to me as she rocked me to sleep. I can love them as wholeheartedly as she would have, and I can tell them stories about her to carry inot the next generation. But that is only in the best moments. In teh worst, I am on the floor, scraping at the carpet saying “why, why, why”
You and in my heart dear one.

By: liberationtheory

liberationtheory — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 07:57:42 +0000

your cacophony must have been on sale at walmart b/c i swear so many of your thoughts are familiar.

By: giggleblue

giggleblue — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 03:29:52 +0000

i don’t know much about infertility, but i know one thing – you are not a failure. you are NOT a failure. YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE! i demand you get that thought out of your head right this minute.

i hope that you find clarity in the path you want to take and pray that all the pathways you need to get there will open themselves. we will all be here waiting with support!

peace and blessings.

By: nycphoenix

nycphoenix — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 01:12:48 +0000

I know these thoughts because I’ve had them every day for two years with a resurgence as we look at IVF the Third.

I don’t have any answers for us or for anyone but I will be here for anything.

By: Sista P

Sista P — Sun, 31 May 2009 22:25:42 +0000

You see failure and embarresment? I think you better look in another mirror because all I see is a woman who has been very determined, put herself what I would call hell and during the whole time has had an amazing partner by her side. If you both decided to try again I am sure this support team would rally around you but maybe instead of beating yourself up about what you did not get, take a moment and really see what you have right now cause from where I sit it looks pretty fabulous. Love you Sis.

By: R

Sun, 31 May 2009 19:07:43 +0000

I”m so sorry…. so very sorry… hugs and positive energy to you…

By: Megan

Megan — Sun, 31 May 2009 18:26:03 +0000

I’m so sorry about your cycle and that you have to deal with these questions. I hope you find your answer.