23rd September 2008

Baby Steps

posted in TTC |

I had almost finished it. It was the post about how my health insurance company totally screwed me a couple of days before my retrieval. It was almost done, in my head anyway, when I opened my inbox and  saw the email.

It was an email from my embryologist with this picture of my little one, my 5-cell, day 3 A- embie. Isn’t she beautiful?

The rant post is almost completely gone (for now, anyway) and I’m in a pretty place for the moment, hoping against hope. I will find out this weekend if she took and, until then, I think, for the rest of the week, I’m gonna act like she did.

Folks have been asking me how I’m feeling and truth be told, I feel 45% optimistic, 30% pessimistic, 15% scared out of my wits and 10% exhausted. I have cramps, headaches and lower back pain, but these are exactly the same symptoms I have when I’m about  to have a visit from my Aunt Flo. So who knows? Also, I’m on progesterone so my body is totally out of whack. I can’t trust myself physically right now, but I’m delighted to have this photo.

As I write this, I find myself focusing on baby steps. I’m fighting the urge to fall flat on my face, while I’m struggling to move myself forward one small step at a time.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008 at 7:35 pm and is filed under TTC. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

There are currently 11 responses to “Baby Steps”

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  1. 1 On September 23rd, 2008, giggleblue said:

    she is a beauty!!!!

    gosh, this crap brings on sooo many emotions and all at once.

    keep on hanging in there!

  2. 2 On September 23rd, 2008, giggleblue said:

    i know it’s hard, but you can’t stop trying. you just can’t.

  3. 3 On September 23rd, 2008, oneofhismoms said:

    OMG! She looks just like you.
    I’m crying over here.
    This better work. WORK!!!!!
    The world needs more people like you, Eva.

  4. 4 On September 23rd, 2008, Lo said:

    Wow, that is a beautiful picture. We’re all pulling for you here…

  5. 5 On September 24th, 2008, Co said:

    She is gorgeous!

    For the record, every woman feels like she is about to get her period when she is pregnant. It’s a total mindf**k. There’s no way to know which it is.

    I am still sending you sticky vibes and baby dust.

  6. 6 On September 24th, 2008, Melody said:

    Hoping hard for you.

  7. 7 On September 24th, 2008, mulberry said:

    a beauty indeed! hope she sees fit to settle in and stay.

    wishing you big positive results this weekend… i know the wait is SO hard, we find out on monday if we have a passenger.

  8. 8 On September 24th, 2008, Anne said:

    This is one good looking little embryo! I am thinking about you guys every day and can’t wait to hear some good news from you this weekend.

  9. 9 On September 24th, 2008, Sarah said:

    What a beautiful emby. I’m pulling for you!

  10. 10 On September 25th, 2008, S said:

    what a beautiful picture! :) im keeping my fingers crossed for you!

  11. 11 On September 25th, 2008, sara said:

    That is such a great (and beautiful) picture. I think you have it exactly right– baby steps– 5 minutes at a time. You will get there.

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