A Little Prayer for You

16th September 2008

posted in TTC |

This morning my RE, Dr. Feelgood, transfered one single A- 5 cell embryo in my body. This was immediately after he told me that it is possible that I could get pregnant from one embryo transfer but not likely. He said my poor egg production this cycle demonstrates that fact that my ovarian reserve is slowing down. The second embryo that had also fertilized stopped developing, “and so”, he said, “it would make absolutely no sense to transfer it.”

I know it only takes one embryo to make a baby, but it’s hard to stay positive after my doctor’s bleak tone; however, if there is anyway to keep a positive attitude in the midst of this, I will.

The procedure itself was more invasive than I thought. I was lead into a pseudo-operating room and joined by a nurse, two embryologists, and my doctor. This was the same room where I had my retrieval but, unfortunately, I was awake this time. The lights were bright and it’s cold in there. They had me contort my body in ways I didn’t know I could. My vajayjay acrobatic skills have really developed over the past year and half. My uterus is still raw from the retrieval 3 days ago, so when he inserted the speculum today it really hurt.

To top things off, I had to have a full bladder during the procedure to help with the imaging of my uterus. The sonogram helps them place the little one in the optimal spot. The one cool thing was that they showed me a picture of my little one right before the transfer, which they promised to email me. He’s so cute! And, btw, I’m still waiting for that email.

After the transfer, I lay there for 30 minutes, contemplating the meaning of it all and listening to Aretha’s “I Say A Little Prayer of You”. It is the perfect song for my little one. I go back in two weeks for blood test. I’m hoping my prayers will be answered then.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 16th, 2008 at 7:50 pm and is filed under TTC. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

1 On September 16th, 2008,

Anne said:

I’m really hoping your prayers will be answered too.

2 On September 16th, 2008,

malea said:

I would say you need to go on immediate bed rest.Nothing but horizontal for 2 weeks so you don’t shake anything loose:)

3 On September 16th, 2008,

Dora said:

It just takes one. A- is great. Aretha is perfect.

4 On September 16th, 2008,

giggleblue said:

damn that man. i mean, really. he could kill a wet dream!

i say disregard what he says cause he’s not a fortune teller.

gosh, i’m praying this works!

5 On September 16th, 2008,

dakota said:

Ohmm…So sorry the procedure and the entire scene was so cold and stark. Why don’t they realize we women always fare better with a buddy system? (Remember they used to paint hospitals white and keep fathers and family out of delivery rooms for no good reason?) Having a loved/supportive one there eases things.
I am feeling for you good sistah. And frankly this is as good a time as any to pray for the sweet little A and her or his mommies too. I’m here sending the love prayers out– And leading a cheer for the little one!

6 On September 16th, 2008,

mulberry said:

thinking of you and sending you calming, implanting vibes… sorry for the doctor full of doom - i will happily hunt him down and splatter him. you just say the word.

7 On September 16th, 2008,

Lo said:

Saying lots of little prayers.

8 On September 16th, 2008,

Co said:

I’m sorry your doc was so bleak-sounding and that it was only a single-embryo transfer and that it was so uncomfortable.

This has to work. It just has to. I am sending you my strongest sticky vibes. I don’t normally send sticky vibes, but you, my dear, get both sticky vibes and baby dust from me.

9 On September 17th, 2008,

oneofhismoms said:

In Dr. Feelgood’s defense (and you know I’m usually biased against doctors for some unknown reason), I think he needs to be pessimistic, because if he were optimistic and it didn’t work, that would hurt more. And you would be more angry at him for getting your hopes up.

My hopes are up despite the man. My hopes are up because this is you we’re talking about. And because it was so great to read the words “my little one” on your blog. So right now I’m just going to fill my day with imagining your little one snuggling in close to you and making herself feel at home.

10 On September 17th, 2008,

Melody said:

Why unlikely? You’ve got a good growing embryo in there. I am sending warm thoughts your way.

11 On September 17th, 2008,

Sarah said:

Never say never…
I think the speculum with the full bladder was teh most awful part of the whole transfer thing. I was sure when they cranked it open that I would spray thedoctor with urine. Oy. I didn’t, but it was intense. You just really never know. Our doctor told me, in the midst of my first really bad cycle (only made 5 eggs and got converted to an IUI) that she had seen cycles that looked perfect end in no pregnancy and ones that seemed doomed from the start end in pregnancy. So lots of little prayers for you and your emby.

12 On September 17th, 2008,

queerstork said:

I think the RE is pulling a little reverse psychology on the embryo. If only he would look at you and wink while he’s saying those things… then you’d know for sure.

Wishing you the best!

13 On September 18th, 2008,

sara said:

I’m sorry the doc said that. The truth is, you only need one, and you have got a great one in there hopefully making itself at home right now. Stay positive! I’ll be rooting for this little embryo!

14 On September 18th, 2008,

Calliope said:

sending lots of good mojo to your little Aretha. (& um, I don’t mean that to sound as dirty as it does!)
xo

15 On September 19th, 2008,

The doc shouldnt have been so negative. If he is the one, then he will stay around no matter if you put him in alone or with two of his brothers! I am praying for him and for you. Hoping the two weeks don’t take to long…

((hugs!!!))

16 On September 22nd, 2008,

I’m still thinking good thoughts for you. Let us know how you’re doing, when you are up to it.

17 On September 23rd, 2008,

Nancy said:

It is quite amazing how crazy the stirrups are in that transfer room, isn’t it?

I think it’s crazy your doctor used “not likely” in givin you your odds. Does “not likely” simply mean less than 50%?? Because the majority of people get 2 embryos put in. Would halving that be only “not likely” then?

I know it’s scary to rely on only one to stick. But with a grade A embie, I simply don’t agree with “not likely”.

Wishing you all the luck and sticky vibes!!!

18 On September 23rd, 2008,

marie baguette said:

I found you through cyclesista. Lots of us got pregnant after “poor” or “bad” cycles. Just check out http://somewhatlower.blogspot.com/ for an example. I have been in the infertility community for more than 2 yrs and I can tell you most women get pregnant when the doctors least expect it. Other examples include myself (got pregnant with “poor quality” frozen eggs. Both took!) and Everything Stranger (can’t find her blog, but both embryos took as well). I am keeping my fingers crossed for you