The Egg Drop Post

So my last post about being in a pickle was cited in Mel’s article about Women the Workplace and their Damn Organs , thanks Mel!

Apparently, I’m not the first person to have to confront the issue of what to tell her boss during an IVF cycle–who knew! It turns out that this is a huge issue and, in fact, Cheryl Hall in Chicago was laid off because she took time off from work for her fertility treatments. A local court recently granted her the right to sue her company for pregnancy-related bias. According to the Wall Street Journal Article , " The ruling expands a trend toward recognizing infertility as a medical problem (yeah!)… Also, more employees are seeking time off for treatment under the federal Family and Medical Leave Act: this law; which entitled covered workers up to 12 week’s unpaid time off, may apply in some cases if a doctor certifies the treatment is for serious health conditions."

Also, the California Supreme Court just ruled that gays and lesbians must be treated equally under the law by the medical establishment which means that a conservative fertility clinic was wrong to deny Guadeloupe Benitez fertility treatment in 1999 because was not legally married. Here’s the video of you would like to know more:

So basically the law is on my side at every turn. All of this should make me feel better, right? I mean, given what is going on in the world, and given the bravery of women like Cheryl and Guadeloupe, I should feel empowered to march right into my supervisors office and say, " Supervisor, Nadia and I are trying to start a family damnit and I need some time off!" But I have to admit, I’m still scared shitless.

According to my ticker, I have approximately (everything in TTC land is approximate) 6 more days until I start all of the shots and have those hormones raging again, not to mention the countdown to my egg retrieval and transfer–ugh! Also I have yet to decide exactly what I am going to tell my supervisor about those days off. My RE’s office opens early enough that if I kill myself and get there before 7 A.M, I can definately make it to work by 9, so that’s not a problem. The clock is ticking and I’m walking on egg shells to pass the time.

So far everytime I try to muster up the nerve to tell her, I chicken out. I keep thinking that no matter what I say, she is going to know what I’m doing. I think I have an invisible ‘I want to have a baby sign’ on my forehead, so I overcompensate by keeping the door closed to that "sympathetic" conversation. Because of that, I’m still grappling with what I should say. Now mind you, I have received some incredible advice from all of you and for that I am truly grateful, but I am still unsure about how honest I want to be. You see, I don’t really want anyone at work to know what I am going through. Not only am I an extremely (!) private person, but it for some bizarre reason it doesn’t work, I don’t want to have to deal with folks asking me about it.

Well, the good news is that she is on vacation so I don’t have to really think about it until she gets back next week.